Help with catalogs

Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 9:12 am     Post subject: Help with catalogs

Hello horology enthusiasts,
I am preparing catalogs for one Czech producer of pendulum clocks. But I am not native English speaker so I am not sure if I translated texts correctly. I need opinion of someone who is familiar with horology terminology. This is not spam. I already tried to contact some people by mail but unfortunately I did not received any feedback. So I decided to try forums. There are links to catalogues:

http://******-clocks.com/download/******.pdf
http://******-clocks.com/download/OneMonth.pdf

First is 4 page catalogue where is short bilingual introduction of producer. Second catalogue is dedicated only to series of one-moth clocks. Second catalogue is incomplete because clocks are not ready to be photographed yet.

To make it easier to pinpoint corrections in the texts I placed text from catalogues at the end of post.

amrad: Chris: Thank you very much


Texts from the 4 page catalogue:

****** clocks
The Precise Pendulum Clocks Bohemia

The unique charm of the mechanical clock has always fascinated generations of people. Although the technology of timekeeping is developing in different way, interest in mechanical clocks is not declining. On the contrary, new models are still developed, which find their use primarily in exclusive interiors or luxury offices. Our production is targeting these markets. We specialize in producing limited editions of the mechanical clocks. Our clocks are made of exclusive quality materials with precision processing. We devote great care to each piece of clock we made and each piece is unique original. When designing all types of clocks, we place great emphasis on that for its operation requiring minimal maintenance. We believe that our clocks will be adornment of any interior.

The basic model for our clocks are precision clocks from 19th and 20th century. Depending on the type of clock, our clocks can run for one-month or one-year. Machines are made of special watchmaker‘s brass. All gear wheel arbors are put in jewel bearings mounted in chatons which are screw-mounted to the base plate. Shafts are hardened, all the way around lapped with polished teeth. All parts are polished by hand. Wheels and small parts are galvanically gilded. Some parts are nickel plated and large parts are lacquered. Dials are hand painted on enamel surface. The clock on the dial shows the current phase of the moon. Weight of the pendulum is made as conventional lens, which is made from solid brass castings. Another option is pendulum weight in form of two cylinders which is design similar to the Strasse and Rodhe. The pendulum rod is made of special Invar alloy. Clock cases are made of solid wood. Each clock case is unique in its design and type of wood used.


Texts from the one-month clocks catalogue:

****** clocks
The Precise Pendulum Clock with One-Month Movement
Limited Editon

The unique charm of the mechanical clock has always fascinated generations of people. Although the technology of timekeeping is developing in different way, interest in mechanical clocks is not declining. On the contrary, new models are still developed, which find their use primarily in exclusive interiors or luxury offices. Our production is targeting these markets. We specialize in producing limited editions of the mechanical clocks. Our clocks are made of exclusive quality materials with precision processing. We devote great care to each piece of clock we made and each piece is unique original. When designing all types of clocks, we place great emphasis on that for its operation requiring minimal maintenance. We believe that our clocks will be adornment of any interior.

The basic model for our clocks are precision clocks from 19th and 20th century. Unlike these machines, our machines have extended the length of running time to a one-month which gives greater comfort during maintenance. Another significant change is inverted Graham deadbeat escapement, which is visibly located under the dial. Concept is similar to Strasser and Rhode. Machines are made of special watchmaker‘s brass. All gear wheel arbors are put in jewel bearings mounted in chatons which are screw-mounted to the base plate. Shafts are hardened, all the way around lapped with polished teeth. All parts are polished by hand. Wheels and small parts are galvanically gilded. Some parts are nickel plated and large parts are lacquered. Dials are hand painted on enamel surface. The clock on the dial shows the current phase of the moon.

The clock is equipped with a ball bearing rope pulley for the winding weight. Weight of the machine with console and without pendulum and weights is 8 kg. Weight of the pendulum is 6.7 kg. Weight of the weight is 6 kg. Number of parts that make up the clockwork is 183 components, 175 screws, 22 pegs, a total of 360 parts. Weight of the pendulum is made as conventional lens, which is made from solid brass castings. Another option is pendulum weight in form of two cylinders which is design similar to the Strasse and Rodhe. The pendulum rod is made of special Invar alloy. Clock cases are made of solid wood. Each clock case is unique in its design and type of wood used.

Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:38 pm     Post subject:

very beautiful clocks, who is the target audience for the brochure or catalog?

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:12 am     Post subject:

amarand: Thanks, I think that target audience for catalogs are people who want something nice into their interiors. The One-Month clock will cost around 43K USD. So purpose of these catalogs is to inform customer that he (she) is buying something exclusive (something that worth the value). Target costumers are usually very busy people and therefore texts have to be sort and informative. Are used texts usable? Did you find any grammar errors? Thanks

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 3:23 pm     Post subject:

I mean no offense, but I find that you might be hard pressed to offer a clock for a retail price of $43,000 U.S. dollars. Most clocks that exceed the $10,000 price range in America are clocks which are signed and limited production runs. They will typically incorperate many types of exotic woods (no composite wood materials), include the most "deluxe" type movement (like a tubular chime movement), and will sometimes include the endorsement or commission of a separate independant company (a good example of this was the Steinway Grandfather clock - commisioned by the famed piano maker, which retailed for about $20,000 back around 2004/2005).

There are similar clock assemblies to yours out there (offered by well known manufacturers). These clocks retail around the $3,000 - $6,000 price range (complete with curved glass). An healthy internet search should yield some examples for you to look at. I think that your copy will need to provide more specific distinctions from other assemblies (similar to how you differentiate your movements). This will, in turn, help to justify the greater retail price to your target audience. Just an opinion (for what it is worth)...

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:02 pm     Post subject:

Chis: Thanks, for your reply. I am not selling these clocks. I am just doing catalogs for them. I would appreciate any comments about texts. Are texts understandable for English speaking reader? Thanks

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:11 pm     Post subject:

I thought that your English conversion worked out very well. There were some sentences where translation came out just a bit rough, but the general idea is still expressed and conveyed. There are other instances where I felt that more detail could have been provided.

EXAMPLE: "Machines are made of special watchmaker‘s brass". By "machines", I believe that you actually mean "movement" which is what clock works are commonly referred to. It would also be nice to know what "special watchmaker's brass" is (as I do not think this is common knowledge).

Just some thoughts. Realize that these are strictly opinions (for what they are worth).

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:46 pm     Post subject:

After reading the first text I find that if you are selling the clock to an average person they will not really care about all the details of the clock works. They are really looking for something that is beautiful. I rewrote the first paragraph somewhat. The second paragraph needs to be rewritten so that it is less technical.
-------
The unique charm of a mechanical clock has always fascinated people of many generations. While the technology of timekeeping is developing in different way, interest in mechanical clocks is not declining. On the contrary, new models are still developed, which find their use primarily in exclusive interiors or luxury offices. Our production is targeting these markets. We specialize in producing limited editions of the mechanical clocks. Our clocks are made of highest quality materials with the machining of parts which is executed to precise tolerances and exacting specifications. We devote a great deal of care to each clock we make, and each clock is a unique original. When designing our clocks, we place great emphasis on clocks that will require a minimal amount of maintenance. We believe that our clocks will be a beautiful addition to any room.

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 10:50 am     Post subject:

this forum as i understand it is for advice on clocks and not a free translation service for business people.

a proper business person would be looking for a professional translator not a free translation and advertising site. i should imagine you client would be dissappointed represented by an poorly translated catalogue.

the clock is very nice and my opinion no better than a kienenger in quality that retails for 3000 usd.

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:51 pm     Post subject:

imho they need someone who can write a marketing brochure to the general public, very tech heavy. The puiblic just wants to know that it is a precision quality timepiece.

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:52 pm     Post subject:

imho they need someone who can write a marketing brochure to the general public, very tech heavy. The puiblic just wants to know that it is a precision quality timepiece, and of course beautiful.